10 Ways Toddlers are Like Walkers
I don’t know about you, but I am impatiently waiting for season 6 of The Walking Dead to begin in October. I am equally excited to see the premiere of Fear the Walking Dead starting this August but both seem so very far away. I am trying to refrain myself from starting another Netflix binge of seasons 1-4 of The Walking Dead (since I recently did that twice). Binging on this show will make you see the world differently as you may think about how your environment would hold up in a zombie Apocalypse. Please tell me I’m not alone in my imagination.
After some thought, I have realized that life with a toddler resembles The Walking Dead for the parents. This week I am going to share how toddlers are similar to zombies (AKA walkers). Next week I will explain how parenting toddlers is like being thrust into The Walking Dead Apocalyptic world. It’s scary how similar they can be!
How toddlers are like walkers:
1. It’s in the name. Toddlers and walkers just can’t walk correctly. They wobble, lose their balance, and struggle to get off the ground. They both wander aimlessly, usually looking for food.
2. They depend on you for food. Neither one of them could have a meal without you.
3. They both love biting. Seriously, what is it with toddlers and biting? It seems that they all have a tendency towards biting open skin. Walkers at least have a reason to bite.
4. The noises. My goodness, the noises. You can always hear them coming and it’s not just from the stumbling around. The mumbles, squeals, and downright demonic noises that escape their mouths give them away every time.
5. Their clothes and hair are always disheveled. The walkers have an excuse but really toddlers? How is it that they can completely destroy their appearance seconds after being put together? It’s like a superpower.
6. They appear out of nowhere. You are minding your own business, thinking you will be able to relax and then boom, they come up behind you in .01 seconds demanding your attention.
7. They don’t sleep. Neither of them. Ever.
8. They have unexplainable, sudden bursts of strength. Have a gate up that cannot be broken? Just wait until you least expect it, that wall is coming down.
9. They are no respecter of persons. They don’t care who you are, they are going to treat you (or eat you) just the same as anyone else.
10. They seem manageable alone but a group of them will make you fight for your life to get out. Once you know how to manage a walker (and a toddler), you can take them out if they are alone. However, droves of them can make you completely overwhelmed to the point where you can’t even function. Beware of the groups!
Toddlers may not be mindless cannibals, but they do make me wonder sometimes.
Do you have more to add to the list? Are you impatiently waiting for The Walking Dead to return? Let’s share our obsessions together! 🙂